Jepara Sailing Club

Jepara September 6 th 2010

At the Jepadise sailing clubs weekly race the fully brevetted ocean sailor captain Louis sailed into a strange phenomena.

No this are no photo shopped pictures, they are authentic and prove that in some cases winds on the sea surface can blow opposite then winds at 1,5 meters above the sea’s surface.

Sadly enough or qualified captains arms are not long enough. Sticking up one wet finger (and we are not talking about the middle one) only enabled Louis to read the wind’s direction of the lower parts of displaced air.

Interviewed after Captain Louis said

“It is very clear, the  top went faster than the wind and due to the unstableness of the ‘rented’ boat the bottom stayed behind misleading me at positioning the wagon”.

Further he said that if he would have been with a boat of his own this would not have happened because he keeps his toys well maintained. Quote: “Look at my Lexus”

The unfortunate captain further promised that he would take a course tying nuts and would read a manual about flipping over cats to a horizontal hulls position at high waves and turbulent winds.

We further wish to congratulate Rien for winning the race after a neck to neck fight with Rob who fortunately knows how to make nuts and tie ropes and can bring cats in the upright position. (whatever that may be Anton)

Fred, captains Louis shipmate, was not in for any command. He only wanted to underline that after losing his glasses his captain still stood like a rock on the trampoline while his rental cat was towed in by the one and only bold and beautiful.

Final results of the Sunday 5^th September held race:

Speed contest

1)       Rien

2)      Rob

3)      Louis

4)      Joost (failed to take off for unknown reasons)

Beauty contest winner

Rob

He did know to charm the Jury by flipping over very elegant getting the attention of the full Jepara fishermen float.

Ranking adjustment.

Our already unfortunate captain Louis will have to give back his this week gained third position points as it seems there is a complaint of grand theft of a so called rented cat by the Bonanza resort management. The incident is still under investigation as Louis claimed he had a green light from the executive manager at taking off in the morning.

However Bonanzas resort CEO said this green light could never been given as he is the only to clear take off’s after a Bintang session awakening. He further wishes to underline that during the daily Bintang evening session the day before the race, he clearly stated that nobody could use his boat as he would go out himself. He regrets the fact that he wet his bed to late that specific morning making him miss the start of the race by no more than 15 minutes. He wishes to add that he could have made up that lost time and take the winning points if his boat would not have been stolen.

Unless I reposition myself by making my legs go slower than my belly and end up in the hospital I hope to see you guys Thursday on the water.

Marc

BREAKING NEWS! Latest flash update on September 5th Jeparadise sailing contest

Reuters latest telexes that reached our editorial desk states that captian Louis, as spoken of in our early morning edition, is not agreeing with his disqualification on last Sunday’s race. He will do whatever it takes to still get at least his 3th position points if not the full winning points added to his yearly overall result.

It seems there have been made attempts by the unfortunate disqualified captain Louis of filing several complaints against the security crew that salvaged him. He now is not only claiming the third position points but the full win points.

As the race was originally set off to Axel’s Marnia and back, Captain Louis claims he won as his boat is the only one how covered the full distance all others should be disqualified.

The fact that the race officials shortened the race after a storm warning from the power plants weather station, is declined by captain Louis. QUOTE:”Nobody informed me that the race was shortened till Sunset beach.

Proving that famous Louis is not only one of our top rank sailing captains his thinking pattern on land issues makes us realize his strategy on recovering these game points goes beyond common thinking ass known by all of us.

First off all no one from the security crew told me that Axel’s marina was cancelled, secondly security officials hit my cat making it impossible to proper steer it. Louis claims.

Confronting Louis with the fact that security people claim to have told him it was only to Sunset made him file a first complain against these officials. In a later stage several witnesses overheard him saying that his rented (stolen?) cat was damaged by the rescue boat that aggressively hit him and that it would be the issue of another complaint against rescue crew as it disabled him to finish the race.

Or reporter at location managed to get first reactions of security agents involved at the scene

“Well we certain did notify Captain Louis of the change of course. This is even proven by his first attempts of trying to get around the island instead of setting course towards the Axel’s Marina. We even informed him of the complete wrong position of his wagon and noticed he adjusted it for a brief moment to release it again as speed picked immediately up. That he should have displaced his shipmate to keep the whole thing in balance we assumed as common knowledge.”

Let’s see where he gets with his complain the security boats captain said after the interview. My ships mate and I are very firm and he received the message loud and clear.

On the second complain as should during the rescue, the salvation boat hit aggressively the cat we received following comments from the ship’s captain :

“yes we touched his portside rudder with our steer board side making the rudder jump into landing position. That is all contact there has been. There was absolutely no damage. And then again, that was at the third rescue attempt! At the first we gave him the rope and instructed him to release the sails. He managed to make a knot in it that released itself as soon as we pulled. The second time after explaining him how to make a knot they fell over again, he lost his glasses and even lost the cat. Luckily his ships mate was still hanging on it. And at the third time after we instructed them where to go hang to keep all in balance they glided off resulting in a new capsize. At that point we, the 3 security members in the boat decided that the oldest of us would go on the cat to take over the command of Louis. As from then on all went smooth, one pull, cat on his floaters and our crew member sailed it in with Louis ship mate without any problem. It is a very low strike from Louis claiming that later on he could not sail it into Bonanza because of damage. Let he be grateful that at the capsizing point ‘The bold and beautiful’ let him in his boat.”

The race organizers did not made an official press release yet as they find it too early to draw conclusions. In a meeting later on the day and after having heard all parties and examined the cat on damage they will decide what to do with the pending complaints.

Or editorial managed to get few reactions of the other big players in the famous Jeparadise regatta.

Captain Joost, considered as the main favorite in the overall Jeparadise sailing Regata ranking, still did not explain absence last Sunday. His first reactions on the incident involving captain Louis are:

QUOTE: “School-sample lousy sail-trim. combined with a weight distribution that shows geriatric lackluster, and very little knowledge of the hydrodynamic of sailing in general. Did you notice that the fearless captain pays zero attention to his sails”

The Bonanza CEO, considered the second main favorite on the win over all commented on the main favorite comment above:

Quote: “I noticed from the nice pictures, that the captain was using a “double trim” (twisted main sheet).

As an outsider, me was ever told, that going downwind, you can’t keep the double twist for a longer time, so the captain musthave been sailing with “forewind”(?) when the pictures were taken.

It must be jealousy of you, the captain can was able to keep holding a “double trim” with prettty strong “forewind”(?).

As soon as you’re able to keep that same special trim under these circumstances, then you have right of speech, try to do it yourelf fisrt,  I debt you can’t!”

To be continued?

We will keep you posted on the comments by Jepara’s so called two best sailors who sadly where on shore leave when the incident accord but seems to be having at least a complete different point of view over the incident.

We hope to get the Race officials press release before sundown.

MR

New facts reveiled in the LOUIS incident JEPARADISE REGATA BOARD OF DIRECTORS PROSPONE THEIR JUDGMENT

Our editorial received new information concerning the Louis incident!!!!!!!!!

Sundown seems very close to get decisions in the so called Louis incident as new information appeared.

To keep all update we clearly publish our full correspondence over it.

Further updates will follow as soon the Jeparadise regatta board of directors has ruled!!!!!!!!!

Correspondence as quoted below our sincere excuses for the upside down order of information.

Dear Mr. Rob Selby,

Please hand this message to the kind Mr. Alec Buoys.

Thanks

MR

Dear Alec Buoys,

We thank you for your clear and honest testimony.

At the moment, and while typing this message to you, our field reporter is at the secret kept location waiting for the results of the meeting held by the directors of the Jeparadise regatta organizing comity over the so called Louis incident .

We warned or correspondent by phone that there are new testimonies on the way. He manage to inform the meetings clerk and is assured that no judgment will be taken before these new facts are revealed to the investigating comity.

We thank you again for this very clear statement and will keep all involved parties up to date.

With the most highest and kindest regards

MR

PS. We will try to get you a ticket for a free ride o none of those boats.

Mr Marc,

I have read the Jakarta Post and would like to assist you in resolving your conundrum.

I am an independent observer who has been allowed to send a message to you using Selby’s computer.

On Sunday 5^th September 2010 I was peacefully minding my own business fishing at the lighthouse, (the white steel structure off Bendangan point), thinking of life in general, mulling over my plans for a sex change and wondering if my sister would notice her soiled underwear, that I had carefully re folded and replaced into her bedroom cabinet earlier that morning. When suddenly looked up, and from then on witnessed the entire event. So being such a credible and unbiased observer I felt duty bound (under such bizarre circumstances of theft, lies and cheating that you allege) to provide you the adjudicating committee with an independent statement.

This is a sworn statement provided without prejudice.

About 1130 am, having caught no bloody fish, not even a bite! I was distracted by three boats moving south and rounding the island at Kartini on the far side, a large white boat visited each of these boats in succession and having excellent hearing as I do, I distinctly heard the handsome gentleman on board tell each boat that the sail had been re planned for safety reasons and weather conditions, to merely round the island  and return to Sunset. Within 15 minutes and the sky blackening the tree boats re appeared between the island and Kartini harbor coming north towards me. Then begorrahh, bee Jesus be damned, the sky went black, the heavens opened and the gusts of wind went and almost blew me hat off. The boat with the colored sail was in front but conditions looked to be extremely testing which surely proved to be the case when the second boat capsized in spectacular fashion. Those big dark bronzed fishermen were quick to offer assistance to this poor lone sailor and I swear I saw my ex Julian amongst them……. the Bitch!. However within minutes that handsome man in the big white boat arrived and imposed his authority on the fishermen telling them to something off, ( it must have been up wind as my excellent hearing did not catch the first word) anyway even in these tumultuous and heavy sea conditions the handsome man quickly righted the lone sailor and of he went again in persuit of the man, also alone in the pretty boat with the colourful sails.

While all this life and death excitement was going on, the third boat with two people on board, clearly alarmed by the ferocity of this sudden storm, high gusty wind and alarming sea conditions, turned tail and disappeared in the other direction, fleeing the storm in cowardly fashion and having no regard whatsoever for the other members of the fleet who were soldiering on despite adversity. Those nice solo sailors successfully sailed around the point and I suspect went into Sunset for a nice cup of tea.

It was some hours later, with a wet hat, still no f—ing fish and after I had received an abusive SMS from my sister complaining that I had been into her bedroom and had messed with her stuff… selfish cow !  Then I saw the boat again. Yes the boat that had ‘run away’ now re appeared in front of me som 500 yards out. However it appeared to be struggling in the now calming conditions. My first thoughts were that the two sailors were not as competent as the nice sailors I has seen earlier in the day, and then I realized that the larger well built, nay, muscular crewman was capable but may have been given incorrect instructions by the wizened mustached man at the back holding a vet long stick. They sailed out into the ocen attempting to round Bendengan reef but lo and behold over they went, with the muscular man taking control and maintaining a stalwart pose standing on one of the white hulls, the mustache however floundered in the water and I had the opinion he was going to pieces. The boat and the two unfortunate sailors drifted south in the waves and wind. Then suddenly two boats appeared a smaller white boat with an older but equally as handsome man at the wheel, he was clearly compassionate and concerned. The other larger white boat with the handsome man in it and two others, they immediately took control of the situation, however they were frustrated by three unsuccessful attempts to right the boat, all failed attempts compounded by the incompetence and timorous nature of the man with the mustache. The man with the moustache was picked up by the small white boat and while the brave fearless stalwart crewman stayed on the overturned boat, he was joined by someone to assist. The boat was righted immediately and sailed off successfully. I can confirm that the rescue boat did ‘tiny tiny touch’ the rudder of the capsized boat but it was what I would call a soft kiss and clearly did no damage. I think all those nice men then all went to sunset for more tea.

I do so hope that my independent observations help your resolution to this silly quarrel as I do so dislike raised voices and quarrels so.

I was going to maintain my anonymity but you men being so brave, butch and handsome persuaded me otherwise.

Yours passionately

Alec Buoys

PS. I would love it if ever you would ever let me sail with all you handsome brave creatures, (that is accepting that silly billy in the moustache). I could also bring along my cross dressing my friend Julian alias S Kit Sophrenic.

Hot from the press. Louis looses all complaints filed concerning the so called LOUIS INCIDENT

Little later then promised the Jeparadise Regatta organizers officials ruled in the so called “LOUIS INCIDENT” and released the press statement below.

Official statement:

After having heard all parties

After having thoroughly investigated the participating cat

We, the board of directors of the Jeparadise regatta conclude that:

On the first complain made by captain Louis, claiming disorientation by setting out wrong navigation coordinates due to mal conversations from security members at the 5^th September held leg of the Jeparadise regatta.

We find the complaint irrational, unreasonable, invalid and unfounded.

On the second complain made by captain Louis consisting of declaring that: Security on purpose made damages to the cat disabling him to finish the race.

Has not been satisfactorily proven and is classified as a lot of crap.

We, the investigating comity support and motivate our findings by the testimonies of fisherman Alec Buoys, the captains of both rescue vessels and their crews.

Besides that we had bureau Veritas to inspect the cat used on the moment of the incident. The report of their maritime inspectors speaks of no damage at all. They further noticed that the cat was still in good condition and the hulls cannot go slower than the mast as claimed by captain Louis earlier today. The cat received a new attest off seaworthy.

We further were informed by one of the Axels marina neighbors that, and we quote this verbal done but recorded message:

” Last Sunday September 5^th , being a tornado spotter, I was standing on the roof of my house watching the storm over the Jepara bay hoping it would become a tornado.

Suddenly I saw a white cat arrive with two crew members. It went straight over the corals into the new build Marina. It seemed the cat was steer less as no attempts what so ever were made to avoid the corals. Once swept on the beach by the winds the first crew member, one funny guy with a big grey mustache fell off and the second crew member, a good and younger looking sportive type jumped off. I saw the sportive bloke try to pull some ropes, but the mustached guy, that seemed in command, ran to the inside of the new bar screaming to the other one to touch noting and to come in as well. Few moments later as the winds picked up I saw the cat flipping to the side. Then I saw the better looking guy trying to come out held back by the funny looking one. After that I went back in, little disappointed as it would not become a tornado anyway. I was also a little confused and anxious that the cat would be further damaged by the wind. I made myself a mojito thinking that rich people are strange, especially when they have such funny moustaches and leave those expensive toys behind in the storm. One hour later I noticed that the cat was gone and I went to the Marina where all were still talking about those two, the outstanding bill the mustached guy left behind, and the words he screamed leaving: Don’t worry, I am good for it, look at my boat.” For sure that Jet Set people is a strange bunch.”

End of recorded quote;

All of these findings makes the comity conclude following:

-Captain Louis was well informed of the new arrival point of the race. We further wish to underline that we clearly noticed during the interrogations and from the GPS read outs that at the specific point of the race where the other participants turned direction Sunset, captain Louis was unable to keep his boat in hand and on course. He simply used the excuse of not knowing the new finish line as cover up for his incompetence.

-As there is no damage at all to the cat, and taken in consideration the poor knowledge of captain Louis concerning boats, it clearly shows that captain Louis used the rescue scene as cover up for any possible and potential damage at the cat from flipping over at Axels Marina. His fear of being held responsible (seems he earlier broke an engine tail at the Bonanza resort) for any damage explains clearly his behavior.

For all of this the board of directors of the Jeparadise sailing regatta, advises the Jeparadise sailing club to revoke captain Louis sailing license.

We further advice the CEO of the bonanza resort to do a better screening when people come to rent (or steel) a boat.

We further wish to congratulate Louis ships mate with all his attempts to prevent the above from happening. You are a brave bloke risking your live for the good course, standing like a rock behind your captain realizing he is wrong but with only mutiny as an alternative. Our advice to you is to go for a captains license, you got our support.

End of official statement.

Our reporter at the scene tried to get some unofficial comments from the investigating directors but more than the words unbelievable, astonishing and amazing where not recorded.

We are now waiting for the measures to be taken by the Jeparadise sailing clubs officials. After all it is their responsibility to keep these waters safe by banning on certified boat users even when they are no member or did not pay their membership fee yet.

We are also looking out for the results of the investigation of the grand theft claim from the Bonanza resorts CEO. Seems Louis is not at the end of his (joy?) ride!

Again, if my belly does not run out my legs, I will keep you posted.

MR

Late night edition: The Louis incident!! Read all about it!!!!!

Being aware of the serious consequents of the ruling by the Jeparadise regatta board of directors, the Jepara Post took the liberty to sent some reporters on the road and had some analysts bending over the sailing adventures of former captain Louis. (as from now on addressed as plain Louis)

First analyses are expected tomorrow during day time as reports have to be sent in from the power plants weather station to calculate the exact wind speeds and directions at the moment and place of the incident.

Meanwhile on the field everyone worries as sailing monuments, as Louis claims he is, are not often under such pressure or comment. Even Joost could talk himself out of hitting a rock at a regatta few years ago. Experts say a similar comment on an incident like this is never seen or heard and serious comment is expected from the involved captain himself.

Meanwhile we received from our reporter on the road some comments made by not involved by standers.

A bunch of girls sitting at sunset at that moment of the incident declared:

M: We did not understand, he was there he was gone he was there again, he was gone again.

O: Yes very strange, they came out of the Jepara fisherman port bay, went back in, came back out went back in as they came and then disappeared. We assumed they were at MR Jacobuses  docks as at a certain time they did not appear anymore.

D: Very strange indeed, most of the time when we see a boat coming to peep from around the corner and go way in the sea they turn and set sails to the beach.

F: Yes specially with this perfect wind to make the turn as some sailors on the beach said.

M: Yeah those sailors ordered already beer for them at their first peep thinking they would be arriving in a few minutes.

O: Yes we could not imagine what they were doing there going on and off.

M: Maybe getting a sun tan?

D: Oh now, imagine Louis complete black with a grey mustache looking just like a walrus.

Mutual gibbering!!!!!!!!!!!!

At Bonanza resort they were not gibbering. The CEO said that renting out boats to Louis is not done anymore and if he try to steel one again complaint at the local police station will be filed.

It seems that on several occasions the resort offered plain Louis free lesson in flipping up cats in the upright position but all course where declined by the former captain stating it was common knowledge.

From another witness we received the news that later on last night Louis claimed that flipping over was his ships mate fault as he moved to slow to the right side of the cat to keep all in balance. Alone it would never had happened to him. Further on Louis said that even do he sailed thousands of miles in his life this never happened to him. It was his first flip over with a cat exempt for the time he broke his risk flipping over, but for that he was not to blame he claimed.

Our reporter could not reveal what was first at that incident, the braking of the risk or the flipping over.

A Chinese visitor at Sunset said  形容词名词助动词副词名词 Hahahahaha!  Was velly velly funny.

We were unable to get any response from plain (former captain) Louis and his by him so called slow ships mate.

We keep you posted as soon the first analyses from the experts are in.

MR

Jepara resident get’s it all

After Kartini the town of Jepara finally have a new FP (famous person)

All of us remember last week’s regatta where the so called S shaped sales were introduced by Louis G.

Many where speculating what the S stood for and like with Mercedes Sport sounded most lightly.

Well they were wrong the S stand for safe. Read what we received from our Japanese correspondent.

“Nintendo launches new game called “Sail”

The Nintendo company holder of the Wii game consoles is launching a new game for all ages.

Looking back on the great success of their Wii fit and sports games the company is counting on mayor sells worldwide as testing gamers at US, Europe and Asia where thrilled and speak less after their first experience with the game.

The interactivity is created by a hand held console looking like some kind a hair dryer that if held in the right position drives your catamaran on a TV screen.

The other hand held console is used for commanding the rudders and pulling the sails.

The very idea behind the game is to make Rookie sailors confident with wind directions and their influence at navigating sailing boats.

Originally the game would have been called “Sail Safe” but before launching the marketing department from Nintendo realized that kids probably would use the abbreviation SS what could recall bad memories by some grandparents forbidding there grandchildren to buy or even play the game.”

From the Nintendo developing department the news reached us that Louis Grimm from Jepara was standing on the cradle of the game. He advised the game developers on how to trim sails and on all safety precautions. On the question why Grimm? The PR boys at the press conference answered because of the S sails® technique developed and intellectual registered by Mr Grimm. Buy the game and find out yourself.

Interviewed some test gamers spoke as one.

“It is a technique that enables you in a storm to put your cat at a still, locate the eye of the storm and sail safe away from it.”

“It is quite difficult, but once you get the hang of it you can as a matter of speaking pause your sailing session to determine the safest get away route.”

Speaks for itself that Nintendo blows away all competition as the technique is protected and cannot be used by other game builders without passing the Nintendo bank account.

What did our meanwhile famous Louis get out of it, well we can only guess. We know for sure that he was inviting  Peter G to accompany him picking up a 300.000 USD sailing yacht that he bought in Mexico.

Idea was to bring it to Jepara anchor in front of the Sunset resort and move in to the vessel from his Jepara beach resort what he would rent out.

At his mountain resort close to Surabaya, where the community thinks he still is, no one picked up the phone to deny or confirm one or another.

Our editorial desk however received some more testimonies regarding last week’s famous “Louis incident”.

Investigators are now on the road to verify the sources before publishing. Updates clearing or blaming Louis will follow later on. The main editor of the Jepara post is not keen on and want to avoid eventual lawsuits. We can only underline once more that we are hunting the truth and have no reason what so ever to insult one of the involved parties.

M

Jepara Post 20-09-2010  Noon edition.

Assumptions confirmed by facts? In other words is Louis Genius?

We all remember Alec Buoys, for those who don’t, he is the fisherman dreaming of a sex operation, wearing his sisters underwear, while watching clearly the Louis incident last week.

Seem like his sworn testimony gets confirmed by Louis ships mate Fred.

Last Wednesday Alec’s sister came to one of our reporters complaining about the pressure on her brother Alec caused by his sworn testimony over the Louis incident.

Maria, as she is called, was past Wednesday morning, as usual, at her fish stand on the local market where she was approached by a foreigner complying her brothers description of, by her still called, Captain Louis, ships mate. He approached her regarding some fish prices meanwhile trying to sell her some mushrooms.

M: I wondered, could this be the man who made so much commotion with his captain. I asked him and he confirmed. At first he did not want to give any comment on the incident, but after I promised him to buy a lot of mushroom after they were grown in his cave he decided to speak open and free.

Our reporters were in shock after the detailed story she gave but were held back by the newspapers owner till they got confirmation on the facts by the so called Freddy.

Late yesterday afternoon over a cold beer following statement was made by Fred L.

F: I have to admit it we were lying still when we capsized. We had been lying still several times before and each and every time the sail went in a position I had never seen with other captains.

All those times before we where as Louis described in front of the wind. I guess he meant with it that the wind was blowing straight in his back while he was looking at the stern side of the cat. Not being a sailor it made some sense sitting next to him I also felt the wind from the back.

But this last time was different, the wind was blowing in our faces so I guess one can say we were not before but after the wind, and we were looking at the port side of the cat. And then it happened suddenly the boom came full speed our direction and all flipped. I remember very clear that the wagon was in the middle and the sails where half tight or whatever those captains call it.

At our redaction it remains an open question.

Was Louis testing there an reverse S sail?

What exact means in front of the wind?

Will Nintendo keep Louis definition as a standard?

Do we have to reinstate Louis as a captain or even as a genius?

Point proven by Edwin with 4 Cats at the time on Sunset beach this weekend:

When the sail shows an S the cat don’t move!

E: I looked very well at the position of the sails and the cat on earlier distributed pictures and tried to duplicate it on the beach. I managed and was amazed by the result. Cant’ do it at full see, I guess it needs a lot of practice and experience.

In a telex arrived at our desk sent from an in locatable warung Louis claims that he will give the full story of the event at a not specified moment  during the day.

M

Jeparadise Post regatta afternoon edition: Report of the 19-09-2010 leg

Results:

First and still unbeatable Rien

Third last Koos

Third Rob

Fourth Edwin

It was a reasonable quit day at the water last Sunday. All competitors managed to keep their mast out and hulls in the water during the entire race.

Just as we thought we would not need or recording devices (around 3 beers after landing on the Sunset resort) Koos launched an attack on Captain Rien accusing him of cheating with the weights. Rien stayed academically calm over the made accusation.

It have to be said that week after week Rien sails of Koos pants by minutes (if his boat has not been stolen that is).

Are it tactics, luck or professionalism???

Or reporter went in a little deeper on the subject.

Koos claims that at the beginning of the day he takes someone along wind or no wind assuming that wind will pick up and he needs the extra weight to balance to boat. From the other side he admits leaving his teeth home to safe weight in case there is less wind.

K: Due to less wind at the start of the race I get  little behind on Rien, but later on when he gets afraid and puts his sails looser I catch up on him. But then he stops eats and leaves refusing to go around the island again. I am pretty sure I can beat him then.

R: It is all a question of enjoying, I go sailing on my own less wind much wind, it does not matter, I make them smell the wind I used before.

Asked to Rien or he wants to leave his teeth home next week he firmly answer no way, I am not in for a capsize.

The Board of directors decided that no penalty would be given to Rien and Koos got a warning.

The more penalties there are left in the drawer the more we can give to Rob they probably where thinking that moment.

El simpatico, the always laughing and joking Welshman showed his real face this Sunday. Harry S. better known as the flying engineer claimed that Rob sabotaged poor Edwins cat by making his crossbar to long so it would make the rudders function as brakes. This explains a lot on why the light weighted Dutchmen on his own could not follow the by two crew members equipped cat from Rob.

If you cannot out run them you have to outsmart Rob said when questioned after.

Smart over smarter, we don’t doubt his intelligence nor his capability to mount secret brakes on cat’s sailed by inexperienced captains so the board of directors said and they penalized him with a start out of the pits next week end. For those who don’t know what means start from the pits at the jeparadise regatta, leave from of the beach while the others are at the water.

Claiming it was a severe judgment we overheard one of the directors saying to Rob:

“Let’s see or you are smart enough to get your cat on wheels to take off next week-end.”

As it was not enough to make the day nervous as he got Rob flipped over on the way home. Yes, it gets even worse just as you thought you knew it all, well you did not! The brave bold and beautiful almost got rammed by Rob’s cat after he had pulled him up again.

O: After I pulled him up he seemed to have some problems with his main sail. Something was broken there. I stayed in standby as suddenly I see him turn his bow’s towards me, putting that small shitty sail of him in the wind and speeding up to my stern side trying to hit me. Luckily my engine did not stall and I could get away. I am not holding it against him but he should consider drinking less.”

After pulled in at Bonanza by the bold and the beautiful the judges where hard.

“We see they salvaged you. And again you have a beer in your hand. We seen that dangerous maneuver! Where is your head.”

Looking at his knickers that time made it only worse. One sail true (extra tour around the island) next week.

Guess the cold beers will be finished at Sunset by the time the Welshman will arrive next week.

Unfortunate Steven (picture), tried to join the regatta. At the approach of sunset he was far ahead of all the rest and tried to hold his cat still by an S maneuver but failed.

Crossbar and astern rudder almost fell off and he had to return to his home port. This morning we received following message from him.

“As you can see on the picture I could not stop my boat to do the repair at the water. I was to my standards and understanding in front of the wind. Or more clear the wind was straight behind me just like Louis described last week. I even threw in an extra sail but nothing helped, I kept going faster and faster. Only now after reading this morning Jepara post I realized that at my position the wind came from the side as it blew on my left shoulder and I was looking at my cats stern side. Is that right? It would be handy if Louis would teach us all. His rights are sold so what is left for him to do. We are willing to pay for some high advanced sailing lessons”

And it seems he is not the only one.

“I see the secret of “HOW” it is done has still not been revealed.

Maybe Mr. Grimm can start to give advanced sailing lessons, at a handsome fee, of how to obtain the “inverted S Sail with the wind after you”.

Best regards,

Harry”

Meanwhile as we are writing this article Louis response on his last week tactics ran in. We hope to get them published by the evening edition.

That is only if and when we know from where the wind comes and our laptop does not capsizes.

M

Jeparadise Post late afternoon edition 20-09-2010

It’s alive, raw and original, the one and only truth revealed.

We finally got the permission to release Louis comment on the so called “Louis Incident” He asked for it from the beginning, but still, it is like playing with fire.

Reading it we did not get any wiser of it as it is probably written to keep the real technique behind the S setting secret so he could sell the patent. Smart move.

However our editorial is waiting on a brief and not to be disputed advice from one of Indonesian best sailors Joost V.D.P.

And if you thought yours truly was funny, no he is not, the text below is written with hart, the brains and a laptop presumably, all belonging to the one and same Genius. Put some dry pants ready you are warned.

—–Original Message—–

From: Louis Grimm [mailto:indofurn@solidteak.com]

Sent: Wednesday, September 08, 2010 1:49 PM

To:

Subject: Fred and undertakers report of our sailing trip

Report date 6 September 2010 sailing trip with Fred and Louis.

On departure, there was not much wind, hardly waves and a beautiful

clear sky. I.e. a very quiet start.

Near rounding the island I saw structure of clouds which I expected

would come with wind but not as much as it eventually came. Much more

than what appears from it. According Rob fell the barometer rapidly.

That promised drop usually is trouble.

Within five minutes was that depression there with quit a lot of

wind. We were far behind Rob and Rien and in principle from our

course they could avoid the hard wind since they were able to escape

to light weather, away from the depression. Rien succeeded but not

our sailing friend Rob. Who capsized and later as we heard was

putting up by Opa and Mark. For clarity, Rob was alone and therefore

had probably also difficulties in terms of balance. The depression

front turned to starboard and than to our stern. Now I was a bit

confused not knowing immediately what to do with that wind. I decided

to run away with the wind behind. Visibility was still good. My

expectation was that we would have wind before rain and that rain

would dampen the sea.

Our man who ‘s always knows better cam aside to tell that our sails

were wrong including my mainsheet car. Why !!!!!!

With very large wind from behind I thought you put the car including

those of the jip outside.

We ran pretty hard and got the full load inclusive bailing storm. The

rain finally hit the sea . Pretty face though. Rarely seen there.

Visibility was estimated at not more than 50 meters. Maybe less. Both

Fred and I could not see a lot.

Eventually  we were able to drop the boat safely  at the beach,

Completely soaked we  await at the new Marina in Jepara. Certainly

more than 1 1 / 2 hours. Sometimes the wind changed from all

directions. Suddenly an  absolute silence with a very flat sea. It

looks as the eye of a depression. Wind and sea It started  to be so

calm that we started negotiating to pull us to Sunset. However the

wind rose a bit, came back and we could leave with very calm seas,

open skies albeit more floating than sailing.

Wind was clearly increased. But the problem arose from wind against

tide which mend waves were increasing. We got always more trouble to

get the boat through the wind. One technique I do understand with

reasonable wind  but not with big waves.

I admit that I still do not have a clue how to do. These cats are

difficult without keel (Bitches like Rob so well know nominated)

These hobbies are not really seaworthy. Essentially these are more

boats for on a lake. Balance is the key here I think also at sea to

sail. But again a lot of experience with cats and hobbies in such

suddenly upcoming weather, I do not have.

After the fifth time, we could not tack her again and in a steep sea

we went down. Hopeless frustration and quite tired.

I also think it is a combination of balance / weight, and in our case

a wave who pushed us. Fred certainly made an effort.

We could not straighten the boat by the outline. The boat has an

incomprehensible short line of approximately  20cm! To put our weight

out was not possible to pull her up. With two men that would

certainly worked out.

Thanks to help from Mark she was pulled up

Also I have been listening to the advice

(Edwin) to make an old woman knot to make the extend our too

short  line with still an short line of Mark. Cold hands and tired, I

put in decent knots. Durable and if you know the sailor button easily

to get them out. Only after 3 times with some unnecessary uproar the

boat despite Freds warnings the boat of Mark hit us and came up. In

my opinion too violent. One of the lines were still around the

rudder!! By holding a line I was dragging through the sea. Opa picked

me up, Fred who was that time on board jumped into the sea including

Rob to try to clean the mess of lines.

Rob together with Fred sailed her back to Sunset. I was not able to

get on board of the rough sea. I would loved to do and to learn

something. Rob also had problems with tacking and jibing to resolve

this,  though I’m scared to use that technique afraid to loose the mast

After everyone thanking for their help at Sunset with glasses of beer

and after a while to catch my breath we left for Bonanza.

A Bumpy sea unfortunately …… and no vision without glasses. With

the incoming waves again and again I took as much as possible course

into the sea only risking  oner tack which made me very insecure.

With not much wind but that bumpy seas a bit far in the sea I have

tried 1x tack did succeed. Therefore I made a jibe, and sailed the

boat back to Sunset. Confused, uncertain because I did not see so

much anymore. For me without glasses is a bit difficult because

normally with glasses I can see everything.

Still whatever the comments I think I made the correct decision.

Uncertainty is not the way to sail a boat from someone else with risks.

Grandpa towed us neatly home. Still thanks Grandpa! Needless to say

again it was Mr. Mark who had the unnecessary comments. He was right

on Sunset to let the main sail down but wrong the way how to do. So I

offered him he could have it his way bind up the main sail which is

as not able too.

I already knew, but let him mess around. Everybody makes mistakes even he

does.

Maybe Fred was a bit disappointed because we did not sail her back

but rather to be sure of yourself than taking unnecessary risks.

By not seeing clear obstacles and rocks seems to me taking big risks.

Therefore, and again it is my opinion that indeed took the right

decisions. Espcially  with a boat from someone else.

If it had been my own boat I might otherwise performed.

All in all, the boat returned safe and undamaged to her place.

Unfortunately I never heard some comments for that.

Finally.

A sailing club should consider with each other to discuss what has

happened . Especially in difficult circumstances, pretty quickly

weather changing. Then we can all learn e.e.a.. One has more

experience than others.

Dull stupid comments does not fit there and does not develop sailing

camaraderie.

It would be fair also to put in your Gazette

L.

Filed under: jepara, jepara sailing club, louis, special sailtrim, strim by admin